The arrival of a child is often described as an emotional tsunami. Between sleepless nights, bottle feeding or breastfeeding, piles of laundry, and pediatrician appointments, parents' mental load skyrockets. More often than not, one partner—usually the mother—ends up carrying the invisible weight of family organization. However, this new journey can be a great opportunity to rethink balance within the couple. Here are some thoughts and tips on sharing the mental load and moving forward together.
1. Putting words to the mental load
The mental load is this invisible burden: thinking of everything, planning, organizing, anticipating. It’s not just "doing" but "thinking about doing." After the arrival of a baby, this can become overwhelming for the one carrying it all. The first step: talk about it. Take the time to express how you feel, without blame. Explaining what the mental load is can sometimes help the other person understand its existence... and its effects.
2. Rethinking task sharing
In many couples, roles are often distributed by default. One partner takes care of the baby's daily needs, while the other handles practical tasks like shopping or finances. But that’s not always enough to keep things balanced.
How to do it?
- List all household and baby-related tasks together, even the most invisible ones.
- Distribute them fairly, considering each person's constraints and abilities.
- Most importantly, avoid the "I’m helping" trap: participating is not a favor, it’s a shared responsibility.
3. Communicate, always
Frustrations often build up when we don’t dare to speak up. Staying silent to avoid conflicts only deepens misunderstandings. A simple tool: check-ins. Take 10 minutes a week to discuss what’s going well, what’s not, and possible adjustments. The goal is not to fix everything at once, but to move forward step by step.
4. Accepting that everything won’t be perfect
The house isn’t spotless? The meal isn’t homemade? So what. Learning to let go is essential to lighten the mental load.
A few tips:
- Delegate (online shopping, outside help, etc.).
- Prioritize: not everything needs to be done immediately.
5. Recognizing each other's efforts
In the chaos of daily life, we sometimes forget to acknowledge each other’s efforts. Yet, a simple "thank you for all you do" can make a huge difference. Celebrating shared victories strengthens the relationship:
- A night when the baby finally slept through.
- A meal enjoyed without crying.
- Or simply a day when you both made it through.
6. Not forgetting the couple in the equation
Becoming parents makes it easy to forget that you are, first and foremost, a couple. Finding moments for just the two of you, even short ones, helps maintain the connection.
A few ideas:
- A coffee together during the baby's nap.
- An evening to chat, even if it’s just in the living room.
- Or simply a quick cuddle before bed.
7. Being kind to yourself and each other
You’re not born a parent—you become one. This new journey is a learning process for both of you. Be gentle with yourself, and with your partner too.
Key reminder: a couple that listens to each other is a couple that moves forward. Dare to express your needs, doubts, and desires. By supporting each other, you will build a strong foundation to face challenges together.
Balance is built together
Reducing the mental load and moving forward as a couple requires effort from both sides. It’s never easy, but it’s possible with good communication, sharing, and teamwork. Because at the end of the day, what matters most is that you are a team, united and ready to take on every challenge—including raising this little human who changes everything.
To make parents' lives easier and lighten the mental load, Mama Hangs offers practical and comfortable solutions. Discover our range of baby carriers, designed for easy and comfortable babywearing, as well as our absorbent nursing lingerie, ideal for worry-free breastfeeding. With Mama Hangs, combine comfort and practicality to fully embrace this beautiful adventure with peace of mind.